Shadowfax and Neo - How the world’s gonna handle us!

Neo is my most trusted friend since my school days. Neo is cool, smart, intelligent(conditions apply)...truly a heart break kid(thats not a compliment). This blog's truly dedicated to the 8th wonder of the world….NEO.

She: hey shadowfax! Guess what
Shadowfax: what?
She: me getting married da.
Shadowfax: pathetic!
She(with already half nose cut): hey velayadadha da…u know I am marrying my friend da.
Shadowfax: oh Shwetha va marry panna poriya….coool!
She snaps the phone!!


She: hey neo? Good morning da!
Neo: enna un munchi panni mari irukku.
She:???


Shadowfax(in a dull tone): dei unta oru mukkiyamana vishyam pesanum?
Neo: enna saga poriya…
Shadowfax: !!


Shadowfax: neo this is she1.
Neo: huh!(scorns at she1)
Shadowfax: ???
She2 looks at shadowfax like she would set him ablaze with her reddend eyes.


Shadowfax: dei unnoda wife oruthana romba nerama pathutey irukana ne ennada pannuva
Neo: oru night poitu variyanu kepen…
Shadowfax: ???


Shadowfax: Dei ne venumna paru unga patti sagum pothu un perla kodikanakana sothu eluthi vaika poranga…
Neo: appdiya…appuram
Shadowfax: dei chumma thimir pidichu pesatha da…unga patti setha ne ennada pannuva..
Neo: weekendla setha ooruku poven illati pogamaten.
Shadowfax: enda ipdi pesura
Neo : appuram enna sappuma….
Shadowfax: "I quit"


Neo’s quotable quotes:
“en devadhai enga irukalo……….evanoda paduthurukalo”
“my wife must be my 100th F***”
“first nightla light off panna maten”


The ultimate one happened yesterday!

Shadowfax: Neo firstnightla ne ennada pannuva…
Neo: she2 iniku ne romba tireda irupa…thungunu solluven
Shadowfax: nambiten!

life's too wonderful to be spent laughing all time!

You made my life beautiful in one way! you are the one who taught me my greatest lessons of all time "Face the greatest obstacles with the sweetest smile...never show your weakness to the world...thats how a hero will rise!!"

I asked neo to read this post...

Shadowfax: dei...epdi da irunthuchu intha blog
Neo: nakku nakkunu nakkitiyae...
Shadowfax:??? !@##

Chithirai Exhibition at Madurai

Was lucky enough to catch up with the annual chithirai exhibition that’s conducted on the tamukkam grounds of madurai.

Madurai doesn’t have much of recreation. So chithirai exhibition usually attracts large crowds. This years exhibition was no exception.

The crowd was crawling slowly towards the ticket counter. One great advantage of such exhibition is that u can witness homely girls of madurai in full makeup(“which would usually include thavani, liitle ornaments on the neck, malligai flowers adorning their neatly combed hair and a kumkum in their foreheads a little above the middle of their eyebrows forming a imaginary equilateral triangle if connected to their eyebrows! … perfect beauty I would call them(equivalent tamil transcription: semma kattai machi!”));

As I entered the grounds I could hear the monotonous voice of the infamous roja paaku ad tearing the loudspeakers placed through out the grounds. The catchy one among the Ad was

10th faila ….kavalapadthinga
kings catering institiute join panungaaaaaaaa
velinatuku pongaaaaaaa
lifeaaaaaa enjoyyyyyyy panunga

(Actual Public Reaction: intha natheri paya lifeaa enjoy panathunala thaan 10th la kuthivutanunga…inimey kingsla vera senthu gummi adikanumoooo)

appalam, molagai bajji are part and parcel of chithirai exhibition. People never leave the place without munching the gigantic appalams and molagai bajji’s.

But I decided to get myself occupied up with a Butter Bun. When I think of ButterBun it reminds me the guy who used to make ButterBuns near my friends home. He was body builder. He usually stood first in the districts body building competitions. We were his ardent fans. He told us that he used to eat lots of ButterBuns that’s why he is so much healthier. Eventually I and my friend used to eat his ButterBuns during school days. But after joining college we were not able to do so. We went to the same place after a year and asked for the person(body builder) who used to make butterbuns. We got a stunning reply “ he died of heart attack while excercising in gym”. That’s the last day I ate Butterbuns and that’s the day I decided never to go to gym.

So after a long long time I tasted the Butter Buns this chithirai exhibition. After munching out the entire bun I read the packet holding the buns.it read “Pandian SWEAT Buns”. Curse the gods it happens only in india!

Thomas! BAMS, Phd(UK) was not skilled Enough!

This time my victim was a Indian ayurvedic doctor who had returned(deported!) afresh from UK on his way to nagercoil.

Thomas!
Shadowfax!

Thomas: whats ur designation in XXX?
Shadowfax: !! (I looked down my tag still danging to my belt!) oh umm...software engineer. i removed the ID card and put it in to my bag. and by the way you are....
Thomas: Thomas! BAMS, Phd(UK) deported,defamed last month...

Thomas was one of the unlucky few(16000+ indians facing deportation since the implementation of new rules in the highly skilled immigration plans of UK).

Thomas was one of the brilliant Indian students who went out to UK for his Doctoral studies under the highly skilled immi....wait! who cares who the hell this thomas is? straight in to the topic:

shadow fax: Are they real! this ayurvedic stuff. principle behind eating leaves that were proclaimed to cure deadly symptoms?!

Thomas: yeh! there are treatments to cure some diseases in ayurvedha. what kind of deadly symptoms u mean?

shadow fax: can u cure impotency! aids! brain fever???

thomas: no way...thats not possible!

Rest of our conversation is irrelevant to the current topic.

Dr. thomas a research scientist in ayurvedha from UK says that he is not skilled enough to cure such symptoms. But we have better doctors in tamilnadu who cure such diseases and my pick is "XXX's siddha vaithiya salai". Most TV viewers would know XXX.

The program would start like this

A viewer calls

" ayya enaku innum 6 monthsla kalyanam. ana enaku anmai kuraivu irukunu nenaikiren. ennala en pondatiyoda uravu vachika mudiyathu. ennaya panrathu"

(i am about to get married within the next six months. but i am impotent. i cant have a suuccesful relationship with my wife)

XXX turns angry
" dei edupatta payaley...eruma mattu payaley....enda oru ponnoda valkaiya kedukura...and he scolds him for 5 minutes non stop."

(hey useless fellow...son of a buffalo... why are you spoiling that girls life....)

finally "thambi nan unaku appa mathiri enoda hospitalku vaa nan solra marunthu sapdu unaku nan ellathayum sari panni kuduthudaren. ne ethuvum kavalai padatha nan pathukren. ne onnum enta vara venam ne entha doctors ta venalum pogalam ana angalllam ponina unaku neratharama kolandhai porakathu thaambi. appuram un ishtam. tamilnatla...en indiavulaye intha medicine enga kitta thaan iruku...nanga parambra parambraya intha velaya thaan pakrom"

( son i am like ur father!!! come to my hospital...follow my prescriptions i will cure your defect. you need not come to me you can also go to other doctors as well but if you do that u will be impotent for life!..iam the best in the state...i am the best in the country to treat impotency...and we have been doing this for years!!)

The caller cries and says "saringa appaa neenga solra mariye ketukren. nan tharkolai panikalamnu nenachen. but neenga yenna kapathitinga...maru valkai kuduthutinga...he cries...ayya nan nalaikey ungala vanthu pakren...(he hangs the phone).

(ok daddy i will do as you say...i was about to commit suicide...but you saved me...i am reborn...i will meet you tomorrow)

Any person who has his grey cells still attached to his brains would never beleive this. And i would personnaly recommend sivaraj and that mysterious caller to pursue career in dramatics which i would say will be a grand success.

Shadowfax: Thomas! have any idea how XXX cures impotency??

Thomas: perhaps? he must have got his balls re attached!!

(Laughter!!!)